Relativity and Time

They say time is relative, was that Einstein? I’m not talking about his theories though, but that feeling of time passing at different speeds depending on how we feel.

You might imagine that time would pass very slowly for me. After all I spend my whole day lying around doing very little. You’d be wrong, time fly’s past, I don’t know why. In fact, at times I don’t know where time goes, I look around and it’s just disappeared. No, I haven’t nodded off, I realise that can make a long film very short or a long journey over much quicker. This is something different, a sense that life is passing by quickly. I realise part of it is age, every passing year is a smaller proportion of my life. So, each day therefore seems shorter. But there is something else too, I enjoy life, I enjoy thinking and learning, I enjoy hearing about things, chatting to people. I enjoy the time I have with my wife Mary. I enjoy spending time with my carers. Going out, even if only occasionally, is interesting and fun. Watching documentaries and films is enjoyable. Maybe that’s why time passes by fast, I am enjoying life.

Time isn’t all fun for me though. I can get fixated on time. We are currently with a very good care agency and a micro both provider who arrive on time or even early. But in the past, I used to get anxious when a carer was due. I am not good at waiting for appointments. So daily appointments are unhelpful to me. It’s better if the carers are always on time and I really know the carer well. But new people and changing times are stressful.

Do you find your life gets ruled by the calendar and clock? So, do I, but additional to that during one of my care visits I might get an unexpected visit. Not every medical visit gets notified to me, some slip through the system. Even ones that are regular, I normally only know a time 20-30 minutes before a visit, when they phone to say they are on route. Which means if they call at the beginning of a care visit, I have a choice, I can say to the person calling “can you call later”, not ideal. Or my carer can start my care and be part way through when they arrive. Obviously with someone like a nurse or doctor that’s not such a problem. But I also get deliveries and service calls from Millbrook wheelchair services and their equipment services. Then it’s not ideal when they phone and say they are on their way and we are mid way through my wash or massage. This can be alright for a delivery, but not for a bed, or hoist service.

Another area time plays a part is when to get ready. We all know, correction, men all know that women take a long time getting ready. Sorry, anyone can take a fair time getting ready to go out. I know not to criticise women; I am surrounded by them every day. Even my Alexa Echo has a female voice.

Most people can throw a coat on fast to just pop to the shops. When I am going out, even if just into the garden it can take 15-20 minutes. I must have a sling put on, the floors need to be covered as we have carpets, the wheelchair brought in to my room, the hoist is then used to move me into my wheelchair. A coat, slippers etc put on. Seat belt, shoulder straps, neck restraint all attached. Then I can manoeuvre out of the lounge into front lobby via kitchen, an art in itself. Mary or a carer puts down a metal inner ramp, this can’t stay in place as it catches on the door. I can then go outside. All this takes a long time. So, we must plan ahead to go out and allow for possible collapses as well in our timing.

Fully togged up for bad weather

Time is very relative; it can pass very fast. It can be difficult to manage. There can be too little of it. But this I know; I am enjoying the time I have.

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Author: Mike Nevin

I decided to write about the funny side of being cared for. I am a full time wheelchair user with daily carers. It's my experiences with my carers that inspired this blog.

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