Anne Nevin 20/7/1940-18/11/2022
My mum died just over a week ago. If you note the date of my mum’s death, you may well think, ‘how come you wrote two comedy blogs since then?’ Humour is how I process sadness and loss. You will see that through all my blogs.
My mum has had Alzheimer’s for several years, a cruel disease. In many ways, I lost her a while back. Last time I was able to physically see her (not just on a video call) she did not even know who I was.
Her death came within a few days, caused by sepsis. Rushed into hospital too late to save her. She was living in a nursing home in Norfolk at the end of her life, near one of my brothers. He and my two sisters were with her during her last days.
It is times like this that the frustration of my own illness/disability really hurt. The moment I heard mum had been blue-lighted to hospital, my heart was to travel to her. My siblings rushed to her side. I watched from afar. It is not even possible for me to make it to the funeral.
Disability in itself does not prevent travel; it’s just harder. Add illness on top and all sorts of things are prevented. It is the combination of the two that prevent my travel.
If one good thing has come from covid it is the introduction of Zoom services at crematoriums. I will be able to be part of it remotely. I can also send a recorded message about mum.
Grief is an odd thing, I have not been in floods of tears. But I have felt flattened by the loss of my mum. It is as if my world has been knocked off course. The light is a bit dimmer. Things less sure and certain.
I know that my mum is in heaven, partying it up with Jesus. The reason I am sad, is that I miss her and must say goodbye for now.