Technology Fail

Early this morning someone banged on the front door. Mary had not yet woken up. No problem, we have a Ring doorbell. I picked up my telephone and pressed the app. Nothing happened! I don’t panic easily. I grabbed my tablet computer and pressed the app on that… oh, you’re ahead of me. Well, you’re wrong. The Ring app started… eventually. By which time the people by the door had decided to press the doorbell. The app showed them on my tablet. I pressed the microphone button… nothing happened.

What to do? My bedroom is at the front of the house. Over the front door. My bed is next to the window. You’re right. I used my Echo Alexa device to call Mary. That didn’t work. I found out later that her Alexa was turned down to a low volume and she had slept poorly.

Now what? All my technology had failed. I rely on it with my disability. What other way could I contact the people outside my window? A brainwave hit me. I wound up my blind, opened the window and looked out of it. The inconsiderate door knockers were by their van. I called out, ‘did you knock on our door?’ I’m quick like that. ‘Yes,’ they called back. ‘We’re here to sort the leaky guttering.’ This is sounding like a soap.

Who would have guessed that calling out of an open window could work? It never occurred to me before. All you baby boomers, of which I am obviously not one, keep your thoughts to yourself. If you are Gen X, you can join them. I know all you millennials and gen Zeds will be fully behind me. Technology was the only way to answer a door. None of this old fashioned shouting out of windows. I almost felt like a cave man.

Oh well, hopefully Ring service will soon be restored.

(I always have to add with my blogs that I am joking. My tongue is well and truly in my cheek. Yes it happened. But I am not serious in my comments. Otherwise people get so stressed out in the comments.)

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Capacity Overload

There are times in life we all reach our limit. Moments when we say, ‘enough is enough.’ That point when we can go no farther. But… I never expected it to be part way through a McDonald’s meal. Not in my wildest dream did I imagine that.

Picture the scene. A Big Mac and fries. Helping Mary finish her chicken wrap. Plus, here’s the kicker. They had accidentally added an extra Big Mac in the bag. Obviously too late to go back and return it. Besides, last time we got a McDonald’s they made a mistake. This is obviously a belated apology. Part way through my part of the chicken wrap. Sorry the McChicken wrap. Is that the right term? I stopped. I was full up.

I have paused here for you all to faint, shout out, run around. Go to the foot of your stairs. Not eat all of a McDonald’s! What has happened to the world? Doesn’t your stomach have a special compartment for junk food? Sorry McD. It’s right next to the pudding shelf, isn’t it? That place that always has room for a pudding, even after a big meal.

But no! I was full up. Am I ill? Well obviously yes. I mean extra ill. Something has gone very wrong. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

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A Request

This is a message from a Producer at ITV News:

Hello, 

My name is Jonathan Wald, I work for ITV News and I’m looking for your help with a special report I am working on about how there is not enough accessible homes for people with disabilities.

I am looking to film and interview two people in the following 2 different kinds of situations related to insufficient accessible housing:-

1.) Someone who is in a home that is clearly, visibly inappropriate for the needs caused by their disability

2.) Someone else who is forced to remain in a hospital or nursing home because there isn’t any accessible housing available for them to move into

We would like to interview these two people in the above settings on Wednesday or Thursday next week.

The report would be broadcast on ITV’s national news the following week beginning Monday September 19th.

Please can you email me on jonathan.wald@itn.co.uk or call me on 07771947805 if you would like to take part and you think one of the above descriptions applies to me.

Many thanks

Jonathan

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