Too Much Smart Tech

The other day I ended up in an argument with my digital assistants. I was telling Alexa to turn on the lights. She replied, rather brusquely I thought, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that.’

So I said, ‘you did yesterday.’ Except, just as I finished, I coughed and Bixby thought I was talking to him. So he beeped at me and sat there like a puppy, ears all ready to respond.

Well that would not have been so bad. Except my Samsung tablet with Bixby on it, was playing some music for me. Whenever Bixby starts to listen, he shuts everything else off. He is like a child with a low concentration threshold.

So I said, ‘seriously!’ Then Siri on Mary’s iPad, thought I was talking to her. She joined in the conversation and asked how she could help. I was getting a little stressed and I said, ‘be quiet, you bad device.’ Bixby had only just finished listening and started playing music again. But he thought ‘bad’ was Bixby and stopped again.

I decided to have another go turning on the lights. After all it was getting quite dark and I wanted to be able to see. The whole point of smart tech for me is that I can turn things on from my bed.

Alexa turned on the lights… in the bathroom.

I suppose to give her the benefit of the doubt, bedroom and bathroom are similar. I’m sure that she noticed the similarity, as she sailed through the air, on route to the bathroom.

As the Echo device hit the floor, Bixby stopped to listen again and Siri said, ‘can I help?’ I said, ‘go and fetch your friend off the bathroom floor.’ For some reason she was unable to oblige.

 

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