Laugh and the world laughs with you

“I have just had my third breakfast, so I should be OK till lunch at 1:30pm.” I was talking to a supervisor from our care agency, she was there to ‘sign off’ my new carer on using my hoist. I explained to her that I have three breakfasts on Friday mornings, one extra to my usual Winnie the Pooh style, two breakfasts, because of the late care visit. What do you mean, you don’t even have one breakfast? That’s not my fault. I eat a little and often, it’s how I maintain my svelte figure. That is if svelte means slightly overweight, which I’m sure it does. Don’t look it up if you don’t already know it’s meaning.

I like Winnie the Pooh, he may be full of fluff, but I think I am too, at least I must be judging by how much is in my belly button every day. I like his comments, my favourite being when Rabbit built a really high, but short wall as a defence against heffalumps and Winnie the Pooh said “But they could just go around it.” And Rabbit says, “Around it, around it, no one gave me the specifications.” AA Milne was no doubt thinking of the Maginot Line, the WWII French defence against Germany that they went around. There are books on Winnie the Pooh wisdom, I wouldn’t go that far, I just find them fun with some bits of insight.

Winnie the Pooh does have a lot of good habits, he’s a relaxed and laid-back bear, doesn’t worry too much about how he looks. Sticks his head in honey pots. OK, so not all his habits are good. He also chats to his slightly depressed friend Eeyore, rather than ignoring him. He gets flattened by his bouncy friend Tigger too. Oops another problem. Insecurity doesn’t bother him, look at his friend Piglet. But best of all he has two breakfasts. First breakfast and second breakfast, brunchfast a meal between breakfast and lunch. I just improve on it with a third breakfast on Fridays.

For some reason the idea of this amused the care supervisor and she decided that being part of my care team would be fun. I do seem to amuse people who visit me, often I amuse them unintentionally, but it is fun being part of my care team we have a lot of laughs. My carers are chosen because they are good company as well as good carers. It’s a prerequisite when I chose a carer, they need a sense of humour, who else would put up with me. I’ve said before that humour is the way to cope with embarrassing situations and I would recommend that method to anyone struggling at receiving care.

I am going to get practical here. If you are about to receive care or newly receiving it there is a big obstacle most of us must overcome: Being naked in front of strangers, or even those we know, maybe especially those we know. Some will find this more of an issue than others. Some will find it more difficult with the same sex than the opposite sex. We are all different. But most of us find the idea of having someone undress us, non sexually, embarrassing. (I suppose some people might find getting undressed for sex embarrassing, but that’s not what I am looking at here.) Then the concept of someone washing us as an adult is so alien to us that we struggle with it anyway. If you manage to cope with that but need someone to wipe your bum or generally sort out your toileting needs, then things get really difficult. So how do we cope with all that?

My suggested coping method is laughter, fun, and humour, that is what I have found helps. If you laugh and joke it will break the ice and overcome your difficulties. Laughter and humour are very powerful tools, don’t dismiss them. They enable us to cope with situations that we think are beyond us. When we laugh or smile our body releases chemicals that help us relax. It also releases tension in you and any in the air. I am not saying laugh and all embarrassment goes, it still takes time to get used to coping with being cared for. But believe me, if you are laughing and joking with your carer you will not notice the embarrassment as much. I should also point out that the professional approach of carers really helps. I think if they were unsure and unprofessional it would be much more difficult. For me the thing that has taken longest to get used to is toileting. Laugh and the world laughs with you, even when they’re wiping your bum; did I quote that right? But even that is easier to cope with if you don’t treat it too seriously.

On a related topic, being cared for makes you feel like a child or a baby at times. Sometimes I will make a joke out of that. It’s a way of coping with that idea and not letting it niggle away at me.

I will end by encouraging you. If you are newly receiving care, it becomes easier over time, especially if you take it less seriously. If you are about to receive care, try out some or all of my suggestions. If you are a carer, paid or unpaid, thank you for all you do, we appreciate your care and support. If you are reading this out of interest, I hope it has been insightful.

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Do read my other blogs, I write factual, fiction and poetry.

Author: Mike Nevin

I decided to write about the funny side of being cared for. I am a full time wheelchair user with daily carers. It's my experiences with my carers that inspired this blog.

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