Whose been eating in my bed?

There is a mystery I have yet to solve. Where do the crumbs come from in my bed? Some people try to suggest I am to blame, I know that isn’t true.

Cornflakes, crisps, bits of rice, crumbs of bread, even a piece of cheese, have all found there way into my bed. I can only assume that when I’m not looking, an army of little munchkins picnic on my bed in a very messy fashion. You may well assume it’s me, eating in my bed and dropping crumbs left and right. Funnily enough that is exactly what my carers say. You could blow me down with a feather at the suggestion. Of course it’s not me.

I will give you an example. The other day one of my carers was giving me a therapeutic massage and she stopped while down no my back, saying, “there’s a crisp on your back.”

“I wonder how that got there.” I said.

You won’t guess in a million years her answer. She suggested I’d been eating crisps in bed. As if the mere fact of eating crisps in bed, which of course I do, would cause them to drop on my bedding. What a foolish notion.

There have been similar suggestions for all the other crumbs. I am certain that none of the food I eat in bed goes anywhere other than my mouth. I never see any of it fall, and if I don’t see it, then it can’t have happened. Isn’t that a general principle of life? I’m sure I’ve heard people use that excuse before. Besides the crumbs I see in my bed look nothing like the food I eat in my bed. They are tiny crumbs, the food I eat is much bigger.

Forgive my little bit of silliness, I find nonsense a good way to combat all the stresses of the day.

Me not dropping any crumbs